but the more I resist, the further and further out I drift
I stand on the shore as the sun goes down
I stand alone as the wind blows
I stand in the dying light as the day goes away
I stand there in the ghost of a memory
If not to live, then to draw a picture of living.
Man cannot live a meaningless life
But I live one, now, castrated from the world
The world I never ever cared about
'Twas only love that meant anything to me
'Twas only love that made me want to get up in the morning.
As I try to move forward
The more and more and more I go back
The more I linger in the dusk
The more I stand alone
And kneel to the idea alone, then.
I used to be animate
Vivacious
Full of life
I used to laugh
Love. Enjoy life.
I linger, now
In a present that is a tomb
Trapped between past and future
Trapped in my own mind
Trapped in the wilting, bleeding memory of love.
I out to the cosmos
To Dame Fortune
And the muses.
The fates.
But they will not listen to me.
I look for another's eyes to look back at me
I move thousands of miles
Discarding dream after dream after dream
I stare at horizons and days and nights
Falling away over it. Aching for it.
It starts to rain
Thunder threatens from afar
The gray day twists to dusk
Than an ominous night follows
All that is happening seems to mirror my insides... and my feelings.
I pray to a god that is not a god at all
I pray to a thing I know is not listening
I kneel at the memory
For that is the closest I can now be
I close my eyes and ache for lady seeking sex tonight ID Sterling 83210 it, hurting for it in a thousand ways.
I cross oceans and rivers and deserts looking for it
I scale mountains and hills and walk upon leas
My breath becomes hoarse from the exertion
But I go on anyways
I lose and lose and lose. And go on anyways.
I walk on broken glass barefooted
I walk in the desert without provision
I walk in life without hope
Trying for a thing I can no longer see
Trying for a belief I cannot live without.
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