This is for you... What if there was another alternate universe parallel to the lives we live, where we were actually happy with our lives and with whom we were with. Those little glimpses around us that taunt those parallel worlds we wished we lived in... I fall into those little glimpses, daydreaming of a life with that honest, faithful, loving and caring man that I only hear about, imagining what his last girlfriend's life was like with him, how spoiled, loved and cherished she was, how jealous I would become, how much I wished I was given even just a fraction of what she had. I am a of what was once love. I gave him every shred of my heart and soul, now I am barely in his thoughts. I feel trapped and unwanted. How can a man say he's in love with me not stand the idea to even touch me? A little brush behind the neck, a kiss behind the ear, even just the smallest little gesture to show me that he still cherished me. Instead it's distance and silence that fills the between us. Bottled up frustration and sadness that I do try to bring to the surface, these conversations turn to fights, so I stay silent and depressed. It wasn't always like this, there once was I time when all I could imagine was this life we could have lived out together, he once had a warm glow of love in his eyes for me. But I suppose nothing lasts forever, love is only for movie stars. I am an honest person. But I find my heart full of secrets. Thoughts and desires of other men. What the difference is I don't wish to sleep with them, I fantasize over what it would feel like to be embraced by them. The security of being held and told that everything going wrong was going to be ok, slowly falling asleep with fingers running through my hair, any small little gesture to make me smile. I've never had much in my life, poor kid growing up, and had to fight tooth and for every thing I've ever had. I've never been spoiled by before, anything that I did ever get from a man had it's own special price. I would hear women bragging about what their and bought or did for them, and they put it in the most ungrateful contexts, jealous thoughts of mine... "If that disgusting excuse of a woman only lived a day in my shoes, to see what she really had, she would worship the ground he walked on instead of degrading him for going to those great lengths just to keep her happy and hopefully even faithful to him." And because of that mentality that women have nowadays, to them good, hard working, loyal men being disposable, I am to pay the price. These loving men get thrown down the drain everyday, after so many times it will be only bitter distrust they will in their hearts, that I will never know a life of the sort because women will have every last one. There is no point of what I am saying, maybe more of just venting out my heart to someone who may read this, but know this... To you good guys drowning in your marriage, you sweethearts trying to the heart of your undecided lovers, you singles, lonely and feeling invisible.. I SEE YOU! I see the great lengths you go for your wife that goes unnoticed, I saw the engagement ring you offered to the love of your life that didn't love you back, I see you hiding in the back of the room because you think no woman wants you. Just know that someone out there DOES see you, notice you, appreciate you, wish for you.. This goes to every one of you, don't let that woman you. There is still an honest, faithful and loving woman left out there that you deserve, don't let them what she deserved back...
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